How to Stay Calm in the Midst of Stress and Overwhelm
I can sense why youโve clicked on this postโthings are probably a bit, shall we say, hectic right now. Maybe youโve got a hundred things piling up on your to-do list, or perhaps you’re balancing work, family, and all the other commitments pulling you in a million directions at once. Sound about right?
Well, donโt worry, youโre in good company! In fact, most of us go through these phases where life feels like an out-of-control rollercoaster. Itโs stressful. Itโs overwhelming. Itโs exhausting.
But guess what? Youโre not powerless in this. Even when things feel like theyโre spiraling out of control, you have the ability to stay calm, centered, and in control of yourselfโand that, my friend, is the most important thing.
Iโm not going to just throw the usual โjust breatheโ advice at you and call it a day. Nope, weโre going deeper. Iโm going to share some really practical tips, techniques, and strategies to help you stay calm when life is anything but calm.
1. The Magic of Mindset Shifts
Okay, I want to start by talking about something super importantโyour mindset. You see, staying calm isnโt just about whatโs happening around you. Itโs more about whatโs going on inside you.
Think of it this way: two people could be in the exact same stressful situation, but one person feels like theyโre going to explode, while the other stays calm and collected. Whatโs the difference? Their mindset. Itโs all about how theyโre approaching the stress.
Now, this isnโt just some fluffy, motivational stuff. Thereโs real science behind it. The way we think about stress actually changes the way our body reacts to it.
If we see stress as something awful thatโs happening to us, our bodies will go into full-on โfight or flightโ mode. But if we shift our perspective just a bit, we can calm ourselves down from the inside out.
Letโs break it down.
1. Accept That You Canโt Do It AllโAnd Thatโs Okay
Alright, first things first: letโs talk about the myth of doing it all. We live in a world where it feels like weโre supposed to be doing everythingโworking hard, taking care of family, maintaining friendships, staying fit, keeping up with hobbies, and oh yeah, maybe squeezing in some self-care too.
Itโs exhausting even just thinking about it, isnโt it?
But hereโs the truth, and I want you to really take this in: you canโt do everything perfectly, and you donโt have to. Itโs not humanly possible. So many of us fall into this trap of thinking that if we donโt check every single box, weโre somehow failing.
But let me tell youโperfection is a myth. Youโre not a machine. Youโre human, and that means you have limits. And those limits? Theyโre not a bad thing. Theyโre just part of being alive.
What if, instead of beating yourself up for not doing it all, you gave yourself a break? What if you focused on doing whatโs most important and let go of the rest?
Imagine how much lighter youโd feel if you didnโt have the weight of impossible expectations hanging over your head.
So hereโs your permission slip: Itโs okay to not do everything. Itโs okay to prioritize, to say no, and to let some things slide. Trust me, the world will keep spinning, and youโll feel so much calmer for it.
2. Shift from โWhy Me?โ to โWhat Can I Learn?โ
Letโs be realโwhen life throws a curveball, our first reaction is often, โUgh, why is this happening to me?โ Whether itโs an unexpected work deadline, a family argument, or just a rough day, itโs easy to feel like life is conspiring against us.
But hereโs a little secret: while we canโt always control what happens, we can control how we respond. And that starts with shifting our perspective.
When something stressful happens, instead of falling into the โwhy meโ trap, try asking yourself, โWhat can I learn from this?โ I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but hear me outโthis tiny shift in thinking can make a huge difference.
Hereโs why: When you focus on what you can learn from a tough situation, youโre taking back control. Youโre no longer a victim of your circumstances. Youโre an active participant, figuring out how to grow from the experience.
Maybe youโre learning patience. Maybe youโre learning resilience. Maybe youโre learning how to set boundaries or how to take care of yourself. Whatever it is, when you look for the lesson, youโre transforming stress from something negative into something that helps you grow.
And the best part? This mindset shift actually makes stressful situations feel less overwhelming. Instead of feeling like youโre stuck in a never-ending storm, you start to feel like youโre riding the waves, learning how to navigate the ups and downs.
It doesnโt mean the stress disappears, but it gives you a sense of control, and that makes all the difference.
2. Breathing Techniques to Calm the Storm
Youโve probably heard a million times that you need to โjust breatheโ when youโre stressed, right? And youโre probably thinking, โYeah, I get itโbreathing is important.โ But hereโs the thing: most people donโt actually know how to breathe in a way that calms them down.
Itโs not just about taking a deep breath and hoping for the best. There are actual techniques you can use to shift your body and mind from stress mode to calm mode.
Letโs talk about some of the best, most effective breathing techniques that go beyond the basics. And no, Iโm not just going to tell you to โtake a deep breath.โ These techniques are all about intentionally using your breath to slow your heart rate, calm your nervous system, and quiet your mind.
1. The 4-7-8 Breathing Method
This one is seriously underrated, and once you try it, youโll see why. Itโs not just about taking deep breathsโitโs about controlling the length of your inhale, hold, and exhale in a specific rhythm that helps activate your bodyโs relaxation response.
Hereโs how it works:
- Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds: As you inhale, imagine the air filling your lungs, expanding your chest, and bringing fresh oxygen into your body.
- Hold your breath for 7 seconds: Now, this is where the magic starts to happen. Holding your breath for a few extra seconds helps your body absorb more oxygen and gives your mind a moment to pause. It might feel a little strange at first, but trust me, this step is crucial.
- Exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds: Now for the exhaleโmake it long and slow. Exhaling for a full 8 seconds helps engage your parasympathetic nervous system (the part of your nervous system that calms you down) and signals to your body that itโs safe to relax.
Do this for four cycles, and youโll notice a shift. Your heart rate will start to slow, your muscles will loosen, and your mind will feel clearer. The 4-7-8 method works because it forces your body into a state of relaxation, even when your mind is racing.
And the more you practice it, the better youโll get at calming yourself down quickly!
2. Box Breathing (aka Square Breathing)
Hereโs another gem that might sound simple, but itโs incredibly effective, especially in high-pressure situations. Box breathing is all about creating a balanced rhythm in your breath to bring your body and mind back to equilibrium.
In fact, this technique is so powerful that elite military forces, like the Navy SEALs, use it to stay calm during stressful operations. So, if it works for them, it can definitely work for us in our day-to-day stress, right?
Hereโs how you do it:
- Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds: Breathe in deeply and steadily, filling your lungs with air.
- Hold your breath for 4 seconds: Just like the 4-7-8 method, this pause gives your body time to absorb oxygen and slows everything down.
- Exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds: Again, make the exhale slow and controlled. Picture all the tension leaving your body with each breath out.
- Hold your breath for 4 seconds: This final hold might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but itโs key to the calming process.
Repeat this cycle for a few minutes, and youโll feel a noticeable difference in your body. Box breathing helps to regulate your nervous system, bringing you back to a state of calm when your heart is racing or your thoughts are all over the place.
Plus, itโs great because itโs so easy to rememberโjust think of it like drawing a square with your breath.
3. Alternate Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shodhana)
Okay, this oneโs a little more unique, but if youโre into trying new things, give it a shot! Alternate nostril breathing is a traditional yogic practice that helps balance the left and right hemispheres of the brain.
It might sound a bit โwoo-woo,โ but thereโs actual science behind it. This technique is super effective at calming the mind, reducing anxiety, and improving focus.
Hereโs how you do it:
- Close your right nostril with your thumb, and inhale deeply through your left nostril.
- Close your left nostril with your ring finger and release your right nostril. Now, exhale through your right nostril.
- Inhale through your right nostril, then close it again with your thumb.
- Exhale through your left nostril, and repeat the cycle.
This might take a little getting used to, but once you get the hang of it, itโs a fantastic way to reset your nervous system and bring yourself back to a balanced state of mind.
Whatโs cool about alternate nostril breathing is that it really does help you feel calmer almost immediately, and over time, it can improve your overall sense of well-being.
3. Mindfulness Without Meditation
Alright, letโs talk about mindfulness for a second. Now, I know mindfulness has become a bit of a buzzword lately, and for good reasonโitโs been shown time and time again to help reduce stress, improve focus, and even boost your mood.
But hereโs the thing: you donโt have to sit down and meditate for 30 minutes a day to experience the benefits of mindfulness. In fact, Iโm going to let you in on a little secret: there are plenty of ways to practice mindfulness without ever having to close your eyes or sit cross-legged on a cushion.
Letโs dive into a few easy, practical ways you can bring mindfulness into your everyday life.
1. The One-Minute Check-In
Alright, picture this: youโre in the middle of a busy day, maybe juggling work, errands, or family obligations, and you can feel the stress starting to build up. Your shoulders are tense, your mind is racing, and you just need a moment to reset. This is where the one-minute check-in comes in.
Hereโs how it works:
- Pause: Literally, just stop what youโre doing for a minute. It doesnโt matter if youโre at your desk, in the kitchen, or even in your carโjust pause for a second.
- Take a deep breath: Inhale deeply through your nose, filling your lungs with air, and then slowly exhale through your mouth. Feel the air leaving your body, and notice how your muscles start to relax, even just a little.
- Check in with your body: How do you feel? Are your shoulders hunched? Is your jaw clenched? Are you holding tension anywhere? Just notice it without judgment.
- Check in with your mind: Whatโs going through your head? Are your thoughts racing? Are you worried about something? Again, just notice it without getting caught up in the thoughts themselves.
- Take one more deep breath: And as you exhale, let go of any tension or stress youโre holding onto. Picture yourself releasing it with each breath out.
Thatโs it! One minute, and youโve just practiced mindfulness. This little exercise helps you hit the pause button in the middle of a busy day and brings you back to the present moment.
2. Mindful Walking
Okay, so this one is perfect if youโre someone who likes to stay active. Mindful walking is exactly what it sounds likeโbringing mindfulness into your daily walks. You donโt need to carve out extra time to sit down and meditate when you can turn your daily movement into a calming, grounding practice.
Hereโs how to do it:
- Start by focusing on your breath: As you begin walking, pay attention to your breathing. Is it shallow? Fast? Just notice it, and then try to deepen and slow it down as you walk.
- Tune into your body: Feel the ground beneath your feet with each step. Notice the way your foot rolls from heel to toe. Pay attention to the way your arms swing naturally by your sides. Bring your full awareness to the simple act of walking.
- Engage your senses: What do you see around you? What do you hear? Maybe itโs birds chirping or the sound of cars passing by. What do you feel? The breeze on your skin, the warmth of the sun, or even the coolness of the air. Tuning into your senses helps bring you fully into the present moment.
Mindful walking is such a great way to practice mindfulness without having to sit still. Plus, itโs super calming and grounding, especially if youโre someone who tends to feel restless or anxious.
Give it a try next time youโre out for a walk, and see how different it feels when youโre truly present.
3. The Five Senses Exercise
This is one of my all-time favorite ways to ground myself when Iโm feeling overwhelmed or scattered. The five senses exercise is a simple, quick practice that brings you back to the present moment by engaging each of your five senses.
Hereโs how to do it:
- Look around and name five things you can see: Maybe itโs the trees outside, the book on your desk, or even the pattern on the carpet. Just notice them and take them in without judgment.
- Find four things you can feel: This could be the texture of your clothes, the warmth of your coffee mug, or the softness of a blanket. Focus on how these things feel against your skin.
- Identify three things you can hear: Maybe itโs the hum of the air conditioner, birds chirping outside, or the sound of your own breathing. Whatever it is, tune into those sounds.
- Notice two things you can smell: Maybe itโs the scent of your morning coffee, the fresh air coming in through the window, or the faint scent of a candle. Just take a moment to notice the smells around you.
- Taste one thing: If you have something nearby, take a sip of water or a bite of food, and really focus on the taste and sensation in your mouth.
This exercise is a great way to bring yourself back to the present moment when your mind is racing or youโre feeling overwhelmed. Itโs quick, easy, and super effective at helping you feel grounded and calm.
4. The Power of Routine and Boundaries
Alright, letโs talk about something thatโs often overlooked when it comes to staying calm in the midst of stressโyour routine and boundaries. I know it might sound boring or like something you donโt have time for, but hear me out.
Having a routine and setting clear boundaries are two of the most powerful tools you have for creating calm in your life.
Letโs dig into why these are so important and how you can start incorporating them into your daily life.
1. Create a Simple Morning Routine
I get it, mornings are hectic. But hereโs the thing: the way you start your day sets the tone for the rest of it. If youโre rushing around, checking your phone first thing, and feeling frazzled, itโs no wonder that stress builds up so quickly.
But if you can create a simple morning routine that helps you start the day with calm and intention, it can make a huge difference.
Iโm not talking about anything fancy or time-consuming here. You donโt need to spend two hours meditating or journaling. Just pick a few small things that help you feel grounded before the chaos of the day begins.
Maybe itโs something as simple as:
- Waking up 10 minutes earlier: Use that time to stretch, take a few deep breaths, or enjoy a quiet cup of coffee without distractions.
- Writing down three things youโre grateful for: Gratitude is an incredibly powerful way to shift your mindset and start the day on a positive note.
- Setting an intention for the day: This could be something like, โToday, Iโm going to focus on staying calm,โ or โIโm going to take things one step at a time.โ
The key is to create a routine that feels good to you. It doesnโt have to be complicated. Even just a few minutes of intentionality in the morning can set you up for a calmer, more focused day.
2. Set Boundaries Around Your Time
This one can be tough, but itโs absolutely essential if you want to stay calm in the midst of stress. We all have limits, and if youโre constantly saying yes to everything and everyone, youโre going to burn out.
Thatโs just a fact. Boundaries are not selfishโtheyโre necessary for your well-being.
Start by taking a look at where your time and energy are going. Are you overcommitting yourself? Are you saying yes to things that you donโt actually want to do? Are you letting work bleed into your personal time?
Itโs okay to say no. In fact, itโs healthy. When you set clear boundaries around your time, youโre protecting your mental and emotional energy. And that, my friend, is a big part of staying calm.
Here are a few simple ways to start setting boundaries:
- Turn off notifications after work hours: You donโt need to be available 24/7. Give yourself permission to unplug.
- Schedule downtime: Literally put it on your calendar. Whether itโs 30 minutes to read, take a walk, or just relax, make sure youโre giving yourself time to recharge.
- Be honest with yourself and others: If youโre feeling overwhelmed, itโs okay to say so. You donโt have to do it all, and itโs okay to ask for help or delegate tasks.
Boundaries are about protecting your energy so that you can show up fully for the things that matter most.
And trust me, when you start setting boundaries, youโll feel a huge weight lift off your shoulders.
5. Finding Calm in Connection
Finally, letโs talk about one of the most underrated ways to stay calm during stressful timesโconnecting with others. We are social creatures, and even though it can be tempting to isolate yourself when youโre feeling overwhelmed, reaching out for support is one of the most powerful things you can do.
1. Lean on Your Support System
Whether itโs friends, family, or colleagues, having a support system is crucial. You donโt have to go through stressful times alone. Sometimes just talking things out with someone who understands can make a world of difference.
Hereโs the thing: asking for help or leaning on others doesnโt make you weak. It makes you human. We all need support from time to time, and thereโs no shame in reaching out when you need it.
In fact, studies have shown that social support is one of the most effective buffers against stress. When we feel connected to others, weโre better able to cope with challenges and stay resilient.
So, whether itโs calling a friend for a quick chat, grabbing coffee with a colleague, or even texting someone to vent, donโt underestimate the power of connection.
Sometimes, just knowing that someoneโs got your back can help you stay calm and grounded.
2. Practice Empathy and Kindness
Finally, one of the best ways to calm yourself during stressful times is by practicing empathy and kindnessโnot just toward others, but toward yourself as well.
Itโs easy to be hard on ourselves when weโre feeling stressed, but that only makes things worse. What if, instead of criticizing yourself for not handling everything perfectly, you treated yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend?
Give yourself permission to be human. Youโre doing your best, and thatโs enough. When you practice self-compassion, youโre creating a space of calm and safety within yourself, no matter whatโs happening around you.
6. The Power of Writing
Okay, so letโs get real for a second. When stress hits and life feels like it’s swirling out of control, everything starts to feel overwhelming. Problems pile up in your mind, and suddenly, they seem massiveโtoo big to handle all at once.
The thing is, most of the time, when you’re in the thick of it, you’re trying to juggle everything mentally, which only adds to the chaos.
So hereโs a trick: write it down. Yup, just grab a pen and paper (or your phone, or laptop, whatever works), and brain dump everything thatโs stressing you out. Itโs a simple exercise, but trust meโitโs like magic for your mental clarity.
Letโs break this down step by step:
1. Brain Dump Everything Thatโs On Your Mind
The first step is super easy: just write everything down. No filters, no organizing, no worrying about grammar or spelling. This is for you, so it doesnโt need to be pretty. You just need to get all the thoughts swirling in your head onto paper.
Hereโs why this helps: when you try to juggle all your problems and stressors mentally, itโs like your brain is running a bunch of background apps at the same time. That mental clutter makes it hard to focus, hard to relax, and hard to prioritize.
Writing it down acts like a โmental downloadโ that frees up brain space, helping you feel instantly lighter.
Think of it like this: when your computer starts lagging because youโve got 20 tabs open, what do you do? You close a few, right? Writing things down is the mental equivalent of closing those tabs.
So, go ahead and scribble it all out. Whatโs bugging you? Whatโs been nagging at the back of your mind? Bills, deadlines, arguments, health concernsโget it all out.
2. Sort Through: What Can You Control, and What Canโt You?
Once youโve brain dumped everything onto the page, the next step is to go through it all and sort things into two categories:
- Things you can control
- Things you canโt control
This is crucial because stress often feels overwhelming when youโre mentally lumping everything into one giant pile of “problems.” But when you actually stop and look at whatโs on your mind, youโll realize not everything is within your control.
And hereโs the thing: trying to control things you canโt is exhausting.
For example:
- You canโt control what other people say or think.
- You canโt control the economy, the weather, or time itself.
- You can control how you respond to situations, your work habits, and how you manage your time.
Making this distinction gives you a roadmap to handle things more effectively.
Hereโs how you can approach this:
- Grab two different-colored pens (or just draw two columns if youโre feeling fancy). Label one side โCan Controlโ and the other โCanโt Control.โ
- Now, go through your list and start sorting. Anything that you have some power over goes in the โCan Controlโ column. Anything thatโs totally out of your hands goes in the โCanโt Controlโ column.
This exercise alone is incredibly freeing. It takes a lot of pressure off when you realize some things just arenโt within your reach to change. You donโt have to carry the weight of the world on your shouldersโfocus on whatโs actually within your grasp.
3. Make a Plan for What You Can Change
Now that you have a clearer picture, itโs time to make a game plan for the stuff you can control. This is where you switch from โoverwhelmedโ mode to โempoweredโ mode. Instead of feeling like everything is spiraling, youโre taking proactive steps to tackle what you can.
Take a look at your โCan Controlโ list, and ask yourself a few key questions:
- Whatโs the first small step I can take? Often, we feel paralyzed by stress because we think we have to solve the whole problem all at once. But usually, thereโs one small, doable action that can help move things forward. Break it down.
- What resources do I need? Do you need help? More time? Advice? Sometimes tackling an issue becomes easier when you realize you donโt have to do it alone.
- Whatโs my timeline? When do you want to tackle these things? Putting a rough timeline (even if itโs flexible) helps you avoid procrastination and gives you some structure.
For example, letโs say youโre stressed about a big project at work. You could break that down into actionable steps like:
- Organizing your task list
- Reaching out to colleagues for input or help
- Setting aside specific blocks of time to focus on the project
Small steps are key here because they create momentum. Once you take that first step, itโs easier to keep goingโand the problem feels less insurmountable.
4. Let Go of Whatโs Out of Your Hands
This is probably the hardest part, but itโs also the most freeing: letting go of what you canโt control. Itโs normal to want to fix everything, especially when stress kicks in, but holding onto things that are out of your hands only adds to your anxiety.
But letting go doesnโt mean you stop caringโit just means youโre accepting that some things are outside your reach, and thatโs okay. You can only focus on whatโs in your control, and thatโs more than enough.
Here are a few strategies to help you let go:
- Remind yourself that worrying doesnโt change outcomes: Worrying about things you canโt control doesnโt make them go awayโit just drains your energy. Keep reminding yourself of that when you feel your mind spinning on the โcanโt controlโ items.
- Shift your focus: When you catch yourself obsessing over something out of your hands, consciously shift your focus to something you can influence. Maybe itโs a small task from your โCan Controlโ list, or maybe itโs just taking a few deep breaths and practicing some mindfulness.
- Practice self-compassion: Give yourself a break. You donโt need to have it all figured out or control every outcome. Being kind to yourself goes a long way in reducing stress.
5. Regular Check-Ins: Keep It Up
Hereโs the thing about this exercise: itโs not a one-and-done deal. Life changes, and new stressors pop up all the time. Thatโs why itโs super helpful to make this โbrain dump and sortโ practice a regular thing.
Set aside some time once a weekโor even once a day, if that feels right for youโto sit down, clear your mind, and do a quick check-in with yourself. Whatโs stressing you out? Whatโs in your control, and whatโs not? Whatโs your next small step?
Making this a regular habit will not only help you manage stress more effectively, but itโll also give you a clearer sense of whatโs important and whatโs just noise. Youโll feel more in control of your life, and that alone can significantly reduce overwhelm.
Conclusion
Life can be stressful, and we all have moments when it feels overwhelming. But remember, calm isnโt something that just happensโit’s something you can create, even in tough times. Every deep breath, every small step, and every moment you take to pause and focus can help you find your center.
Youโre stronger than you think, and you have the tools to handle whatever comes your way. You donโt have to have all the answers, and you donโt need to be perfect. Just keep doing your best, one day at a time.
Trust yourself. Youโve come this far, and youโve got everything you need to stay calm, even in the chaos. Believe in your ability to find peaceโbecause itโs already within you, waiting to be discovered.
Youโve got this!