How to Stay Calm in the Midst of Stress and Overwhelm

I can sense why you’ve clicked on this post—things are probably a bit, shall we say, hectic right now. Maybe you’ve got a hundred things piling up on your to-do list, or perhaps you’re balancing work, family, and all the other commitments pulling you in a million directions at once. Sound about right?

Well, don’t worry, you’re in good company! In fact, most of us go through these phases where life feels like an out-of-control rollercoaster. It’s stressful. It’s overwhelming. It’s exhausting.

But guess what? You’re not powerless in this. Even when things feel like they’re spiraling out of control, you have the ability to stay calm, centered, and in control of yourself—and that, my friend, is the most important thing.

I’m not going to just throw the usual “just breathe” advice at you and call it a day. Nope, we’re going deeper. I’m going to share some really practical tips, techniques, and strategies to help you stay calm when life is anything but calm.

1. The Magic of Mindset Shifts

Okay, I want to start by talking about something super important—your mindset. You see, staying calm isn’t just about what’s happening around you. It’s more about what’s going on inside you.

Think of it this way: two people could be in the exact same stressful situation, but one person feels like they’re going to explode, while the other stays calm and collected. What’s the difference? Their mindset. It’s all about how they’re approaching the stress.

Now, this isn’t just some fluffy, motivational stuff. There’s real science behind it. The way we think about stress actually changes the way our body reacts to it.

If we see stress as something awful that’s happening to us, our bodies will go into full-on “fight or flight” mode. But if we shift our perspective just a bit, we can calm ourselves down from the inside out.

Let’s break it down.

1. Accept That You Can’t Do It All—And That’s Okay

Alright, first things first: let’s talk about the myth of doing it all. We live in a world where it feels like we’re supposed to be doing everything—working hard, taking care of family, maintaining friendships, staying fit, keeping up with hobbies, and oh yeah, maybe squeezing in some self-care too.

It’s exhausting even just thinking about it, isn’t it?

But here’s the truth, and I want you to really take this in: you can’t do everything perfectly, and you don’t have to. It’s not humanly possible. So many of us fall into this trap of thinking that if we don’t check every single box, we’re somehow failing.

But let me tell you—perfection is a myth. You’re not a machine. You’re human, and that means you have limits. And those limits? They’re not a bad thing. They’re just part of being alive.

What if, instead of beating yourself up for not doing it all, you gave yourself a break? What if you focused on doing what’s most important and let go of the rest?

Imagine how much lighter you’d feel if you didn’t have the weight of impossible expectations hanging over your head.

So here’s your permission slip: It’s okay to not do everything. It’s okay to prioritize, to say no, and to let some things slide. Trust me, the world will keep spinning, and you’ll feel so much calmer for it.

2. Shift from “Why Me?” to “What Can I Learn?”

Let’s be real—when life throws a curveball, our first reaction is often, “Ugh, why is this happening to me?” Whether it’s an unexpected work deadline, a family argument, or just a rough day, it’s easy to feel like life is conspiring against us.

But here’s a little secret: while we can’t always control what happens, we can control how we respond. And that starts with shifting our perspective.

When something stressful happens, instead of falling into the “why me” trap, try asking yourself, “What can I learn from this?” I know it sounds a bit cheesy, but hear me out—this tiny shift in thinking can make a huge difference.

Here’s why: When you focus on what you can learn from a tough situation, you’re taking back control. You’re no longer a victim of your circumstances. You’re an active participant, figuring out how to grow from the experience.

Maybe you’re learning patience. Maybe you’re learning resilience. Maybe you’re learning how to set boundaries or how to take care of yourself. Whatever it is, when you look for the lesson, you’re transforming stress from something negative into something that helps you grow.

And the best part? This mindset shift actually makes stressful situations feel less overwhelming. Instead of feeling like you’re stuck in a never-ending storm, you start to feel like you’re riding the waves, learning how to navigate the ups and downs.

It doesn’t mean the stress disappears, but it gives you a sense of control, and that makes all the difference.

2. Breathing Techniques to Calm the Storm

You’ve probably heard a million times that you need to “just breathe” when you’re stressed, right? And you’re probably thinking, “Yeah, I get it—breathing is important.” But here’s the thing: most people don’t actually know how to breathe in a way that calms them down.

It’s not just about taking a deep breath and hoping for the best. There are actual techniques you can use to shift your body and mind from stress mode to calm mode.

Let’s talk about some of the best, most effective breathing techniques that go beyond the basics. And no, I’m not just going to tell you to “take a deep breath.” These techniques are all about intentionally using your breath to slow your heart rate, calm your nervous system, and quiet your mind.

1. The 4-7-8 Breathing Method

This one is seriously underrated, and once you try it, you’ll see why. It’s not just about taking deep breaths—it’s about controlling the length of your inhale, hold, and exhale in a specific rhythm that helps activate your body’s relaxation response.

Here’s how it works:

1. Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds: As you inhale, imagine the air filling your lungs, expanding your chest, and bringing fresh oxygen into your body.
2. Hold your breath for 7 seconds: Now, this is where the magic starts to happen. Holding your breath for a few extra seconds helps your body absorb more oxygen and gives your mind a moment to pause. It might feel a little strange at first, but trust me, this step is crucial.
3. Exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds: Now for the exhale—make it long and slow. Exhaling for a full 8 seconds helps engage your parasympathetic nervous system (the part of your nervous system that calms you down) and signals to your body that it’s safe to relax.

Do this for four cycles, and you’ll notice a shift. Your heart rate will start to slow, your muscles will loosen, and your mind will feel clearer. The 4-7-8 method works because it forces your body into a state of relaxation, even when your mind is racing.

And the more you practice it, the better you’ll get at calming yourself down quickly!

2. Box Breathing (aka Square Breathing)

Here’s another gem that might sound simple, but it’s incredibly effective, especially in high-pressure situations. Box breathing is all about creating a balanced rhythm in your breath to bring your body and mind back to equilibrium.

In fact, this technique is so powerful that elite military forces, like the Navy SEALs, use it to stay calm during stressful operations. So, if it works for them, it can definitely work for us in our day-to-day stress, right?

Here’s how you do it:

1. Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds: Breathe in deeply and steadily, filling your lungs with air.
2. Hold your breath for 4 seconds: Just like the 4-7-8 method, this pause gives your body time to absorb oxygen and slows everything down.
3. Exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds: Again, make the exhale slow and controlled. Picture all the tension leaving your body with each breath out.
4. Hold your breath for 4 seconds: This final hold might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but it’s key to the calming process.

Repeat this cycle for a few minutes, and you’ll feel a noticeable difference in your body. Box breathing helps to regulate your nervous system, bringing you back to a state of calm when your heart is racing or your thoughts are all over the place.

Plus, it’s great because it’s so easy to remember—just think of it like drawing a square with your breath.

3. Alternate Nostril Breathing (Nadi Shodhana)

Okay, this one’s a little more unique, but if you’re into trying new things, give it a shot! Alternate nostril breathing is a traditional yogic practice that helps balance the left and right hemispheres of the brain.

It might sound a bit “woo-woo,” but there’s actual science behind it. This technique is super effective at calming the mind, reducing anxiety, and improving focus.

Here’s how you do it:

1. Close your right nostril with your thumb, and inhale deeply through your left nostril.
2. Close your left nostril with your ring finger and release your right nostril. Now, exhale through your right nostril.
3. Inhale through your right nostril, then close it again with your thumb.
4. Exhale through your left nostril, and repeat the cycle.

This might take a little getting used to, but once you get the hang of it, it’s a fantastic way to reset your nervous system and bring yourself back to a balanced state of mind.

What’s cool about alternate nostril breathing is that it really does help you feel calmer almost immediately, and over time, it can improve your overall sense of well-being.

3. Mindfulness Without Meditation

Alright, let’s talk about mindfulness for a second. Now, I know mindfulness has become a bit of a buzzword lately, and for good reason—it’s been shown time and time again to help reduce stress, improve focus, and even boost your mood.

But here’s the thing: you don’t have to sit down and meditate for 30 minutes a day to experience the benefits of mindfulness. In fact, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: there are plenty of ways to practice mindfulness without ever having to close your eyes or sit cross-legged on a cushion.

Let’s dive into a few easy, practical ways you can bring mindfulness into your everyday life.

1. The One-Minute Check-In

Alright, picture this: you’re in the middle of a busy day, maybe juggling work, errands, or family obligations, and you can feel the stress starting to build up. Your shoulders are tense, your mind is racing, and you just need a moment to reset. This is where the one-minute check-in comes in.

Here’s how it works:

• Pause: Literally, just stop what you’re doing for a minute. It doesn’t matter if you’re at your desk, in the kitchen, or even in your car—just pause for a second.
• Take a deep breath: Inhale deeply through your nose, filling your lungs with air, and then slowly exhale through your mouth. Feel the air leaving your body, and notice how your muscles start to relax, even just a little.
• Check in with your body: How do you feel? Are your shoulders hunched? Is your jaw clenched? Are you holding tension anywhere? Just notice it without judgment.
• Check in with your mind: What’s going through your head? Are your thoughts racing? Are you worried about something? Again, just notice it without getting caught up in the thoughts themselves.
• Take one more deep breath: And as you exhale, let go of any tension or stress you’re holding onto. Picture yourself releasing it with each breath out.

That’s it! One minute, and you’ve just practiced mindfulness. This little exercise helps you hit the pause button in the middle of a busy day and brings you back to the present moment.

2. Mindful Walking

Okay, so this one is perfect if you’re someone who likes to stay active. Mindful walking is exactly what it sounds like—bringing mindfulness into your daily walks. You don’t need to carve out extra time to sit down and meditate when you can turn your daily movement into a calming, grounding practice.

Here’s how to do it:

• Start by focusing on your breath: As you begin walking, pay attention to your breathing. Is it shallow? Fast? Just notice it, and then try to deepen and slow it down as you walk.
• Tune into your body: Feel the ground beneath your feet with each step. Notice the way your foot rolls from heel to toe. Pay attention to the way your arms swing naturally by your sides. Bring your full awareness to the simple act of walking.
• Engage your senses: What do you see around you? What do you hear? Maybe it’s birds chirping or the sound of cars passing by. What do you feel? The breeze on your skin, the warmth of the sun, or even the coolness of the air. Tuning into your senses helps bring you fully into the present moment.

Mindful walking is such a great way to practice mindfulness without having to sit still. Plus, it’s super calming and grounding, especially if you’re someone who tends to feel restless or anxious.

Give it a try next time you’re out for a walk, and see how different it feels when you’re truly present.

3. The Five Senses Exercise

This is one of my all-time favorite ways to ground myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed or scattered. The five senses exercise is a simple, quick practice that brings you back to the present moment by engaging each of your five senses.

Here’s how to do it:

1. Look around and name five things you can see: Maybe it’s the trees outside, the book on your desk, or even the pattern on the carpet. Just notice them and take them in without judgment.
2. Find four things you can feel: This could be the texture of your clothes, the warmth of your coffee mug, or the softness of a blanket. Focus on how these things feel against your skin.
3. Identify three things you can hear: Maybe it’s the hum of the air conditioner, birds chirping outside, or the sound of your own breathing. Whatever it is, tune into those sounds.
4. Notice two things you can smell: Maybe it’s the scent of your morning coffee, the fresh air coming in through the window, or the faint scent of a candle. Just take a moment to notice the smells around you.
5. Taste one thing: If you have something nearby, take a sip of water or a bite of food, and really focus on the taste and sensation in your mouth.

This exercise is a great way to bring yourself back to the present moment when your mind is racing or you’re feeling overwhelmed. It’s quick, easy, and super effective at helping you feel grounded and calm.

4. The Power of Routine and Boundaries

Alright, let’s talk about something that’s often overlooked when it comes to staying calm in the midst of stress—your routine and boundaries. I know it might sound boring or like something you don’t have time for, but hear me out.

Having a routine and setting clear boundaries are two of the most powerful tools you have for creating calm in your life.

Let’s dig into why these are so important and how you can start incorporating them into your daily life.

1. Create a Simple Morning Routine

I get it, mornings are hectic. But here’s the thing: the way you start your day sets the tone for the rest of it. If you’re rushing around, checking your phone first thing, and feeling frazzled, it’s no wonder that stress builds up so quickly.

But if you can create a simple morning routine that helps you start the day with calm and intention, it can make a huge difference.

I’m not talking about anything fancy or time-consuming here. You don’t need to spend two hours meditating or journaling. Just pick a few small things that help you feel grounded before the chaos of the day begins.

Maybe it’s something as simple as:

• Waking up 10 minutes earlier: Use that time to stretch, take a few deep breaths, or enjoy a quiet cup of coffee without distractions.
• Writing down three things you’re grateful for: Gratitude is an incredibly powerful way to shift your mindset and start the day on a positive note.
• Setting an intention for the day: This could be something like, “Today, I’m going to focus on staying calm,” or “I’m going to take things one step at a time.”

The key is to create a routine that feels good to you. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Even just a few minutes of intentionality in the morning can set you up for a calmer, more focused day.

2. Set Boundaries Around Your Time

This one can be tough, but it’s absolutely essential if you want to stay calm in the midst of stress. We all have limits, and if you’re constantly saying yes to everything and everyone, you’re going to burn out.

That’s just a fact. Boundaries are not selfish—they’re necessary for your well-being.

Start by taking a look at where your time and energy are going. Are you overcommitting yourself? Are you saying yes to things that you don’t actually want to do? Are you letting work bleed into your personal time?

It’s okay to say no. In fact, it’s healthy. When you set clear boundaries around your time, you’re protecting your mental and emotional energy. And that, my friend, is a big part of staying calm.

Here are a few simple ways to start setting boundaries:

• Turn off notifications after work hours: You don’t need to be available 24/7. Give yourself permission to unplug.
• Schedule downtime: Literally put it on your calendar. Whether it’s 30 minutes to read, take a walk, or just relax, make sure you’re giving yourself time to recharge.
• Be honest with yourself and others: If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s okay to say so. You don’t have to do it all, and it’s okay to ask for help or delegate tasks.

Boundaries are about protecting your energy so that you can show up fully for the things that matter most.

And trust me, when you start setting boundaries, you’ll feel a huge weight lift off your shoulders.

5. Finding Calm in Connection

Finally, let’s talk about one of the most underrated ways to stay calm during stressful times—connecting with others. We are social creatures, and even though it can be tempting to isolate yourself when you’re feeling overwhelmed, reaching out for support is one of the most powerful things you can do.

1. Lean on Your Support System

Whether it’s friends, family, or colleagues, having a support system is crucial. You don’t have to go through stressful times alone. Sometimes just talking things out with someone who understands can make a world of difference.

Here’s the thing: asking for help or leaning on others doesn’t make you weak. It makes you human. We all need support from time to time, and there’s no shame in reaching out when you need it.

In fact, studies have shown that social support is one of the most effective buffers against stress. When we feel connected to others, we’re better able to cope with challenges and stay resilient.

So, whether it’s calling a friend for a quick chat, grabbing coffee with a colleague, or even texting someone to vent, don’t underestimate the power of connection.

Sometimes, just knowing that someone’s got your back can help you stay calm and grounded.

2. Practice Empathy and Kindness

Finally, one of the best ways to calm yourself during stressful times is by practicing empathy and kindness—not just toward others, but toward yourself as well.

It’s easy to be hard on ourselves when we’re feeling stressed, but that only makes things worse. What if, instead of criticizing yourself for not handling everything perfectly, you treated yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend?

Give yourself permission to be human. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough. When you practice self-compassion, you’re creating a space of calm and safety within yourself, no matter what’s happening around you.

6. The Power of Writing

Okay, so let’s get real for a second. When stress hits and life feels like it’s swirling out of control, everything starts to feel overwhelming. Problems pile up in your mind, and suddenly, they seem massive—too big to handle all at once.

The thing is, most of the time, when you’re in the thick of it, you’re trying to juggle everything mentally, which only adds to the chaos.

So here’s a trick: write it down. Yup, just grab a pen and paper (or your phone, or laptop, whatever works), and brain dump everything that’s stressing you out. It’s a simple exercise, but trust me—it’s like magic for your mental clarity.

Let’s break this down step by step:

1. Brain Dump Everything That’s On Your Mind

The first step is super easy: just write everything down. No filters, no organizing, no worrying about grammar or spelling. This is for you, so it doesn’t need to be pretty. You just need to get all the thoughts swirling in your head onto paper.

Here’s why this helps: when you try to juggle all your problems and stressors mentally, it’s like your brain is running a bunch of background apps at the same time. That mental clutter makes it hard to focus, hard to relax, and hard to prioritize.

Writing it down acts like a “mental download” that frees up brain space, helping you feel instantly lighter.

Think of it like this: when your computer starts lagging because you’ve got 20 tabs open, what do you do? You close a few, right? Writing things down is the mental equivalent of closing those tabs.

So, go ahead and scribble it all out. What’s bugging you? What’s been nagging at the back of your mind? Bills, deadlines, arguments, health concerns—get it all out.

2. Sort Through: What Can You Control, and What Can’t You?

Once you’ve brain dumped everything onto the page, the next step is to go through it all and sort things into two categories:

1. Things you can control
2. Things you can’t control

This is crucial because stress often feels overwhelming when you’re mentally lumping everything into one giant pile of “problems.” But when you actually stop and look at what’s on your mind, you’ll realize not everything is within your control.

And here’s the thing: trying to control things you can’t is exhausting.

For example:

• You can’t control what other people say or think.
• You can’t control the economy, the weather, or time itself.
• You can control how you respond to situations, your work habits, and how you manage your time.

Making this distinction gives you a roadmap to handle things more effectively.

Here’s how you can approach this:

• Grab two different-colored pens (or just draw two columns if you’re feeling fancy). Label one side “Can Control” and the other “Can’t Control.”
• Now, go through your list and start sorting. Anything that you have some power over goes in the “Can Control” column. Anything that’s totally out of your hands goes in the “Can’t Control” column.

This exercise alone is incredibly freeing. It takes a lot of pressure off when you realize some things just aren’t within your reach to change. You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders—focus on what’s actually within your grasp.

3. Make a Plan for What You Can Change

Now that you have a clearer picture, it’s time to make a game plan for the stuff you can control. This is where you switch from “overwhelmed” mode to “empowered” mode. Instead of feeling like everything is spiraling, you’re taking proactive steps to tackle what you can.

Take a look at your “Can Control” list, and ask yourself a few key questions:

• What’s the first small step I can take? Often, we feel paralyzed by stress because we think we have to solve the whole problem all at once. But usually, there’s one small, doable action that can help move things forward. Break it down.
• What resources do I need? Do you need help? More time? Advice? Sometimes tackling an issue becomes easier when you realize you don’t have to do it alone.
• What’s my timeline? When do you want to tackle these things? Putting a rough timeline (even if it’s flexible) helps you avoid procrastination and gives you some structure.

For example, let’s say you’re stressed about a big project at work. You could break that down into actionable steps like:

• Organizing your task list
• Reaching out to colleagues for input or help
• Setting aside specific blocks of time to focus on the project

Small steps are key here because they create momentum. Once you take that first step, it’s easier to keep going—and the problem feels less insurmountable.

4. Let Go of What’s Out of Your Hands

This is probably the hardest part, but it’s also the most freeing: letting go of what you can’t control. It’s normal to want to fix everything, especially when stress kicks in, but holding onto things that are out of your hands only adds to your anxiety.

But letting go doesn’t mean you stop caring—it just means you’re accepting that some things are outside your reach, and that’s okay. You can only focus on what’s in your control, and that’s more than enough.

Here are a few strategies to help you let go:

• Remind yourself that worrying doesn’t change outcomes: Worrying about things you can’t control doesn’t make them go away—it just drains your energy. Keep reminding yourself of that when you feel your mind spinning on the “can’t control” items.
• Shift your focus: When you catch yourself obsessing over something out of your hands, consciously shift your focus to something you can influence. Maybe it’s a small task from your “Can Control” list, or maybe it’s just taking a few deep breaths and practicing some mindfulness.
• Practice self-compassion: Give yourself a break. You don’t need to have it all figured out or control every outcome. Being kind to yourself goes a long way in reducing stress.

5. Regular Check-Ins: Keep It Up

Here’s the thing about this exercise: it’s not a one-and-done deal. Life changes, and new stressors pop up all the time. That’s why it’s super helpful to make this “brain dump and sort” practice a regular thing.

Set aside some time once a week—or even once a day, if that feels right for you—to sit down, clear your mind, and do a quick check-in with yourself. What’s stressing you out? What’s in your control, and what’s not? What’s your next small step?

Making this a regular habit will not only help you manage stress more effectively, but it’ll also give you a clearer sense of what’s important and what’s just noise. You’ll feel more in control of your life, and that alone can significantly reduce overwhelm.

Conclusion

Life can be stressful, and we all have moments when it feels overwhelming. But remember, calm isn’t something that just happens—it’s something you can create, even in tough times. Every deep breath, every small step, and every moment you take to pause and focus can help you find your center.

You’re stronger than you think, and you have the tools to handle whatever comes your way. You don’t have to have all the answers, and you don’t need to be perfect. Just keep doing your best, one day at a time.

Trust yourself. You’ve come this far, and you’ve got everything you need to stay calm, even in the chaos. Believe in your ability to find peace—because it’s already within you, waiting to be discovered.

You’ve got this!